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Look at your group of friends or at your family members.
Think about each of them. Think about yourself.

1 in 5 Americans struggle with some form of Mental Illness.
It can range from something mild to something serious.

But please don’t let those terms make you feel like what you experience isn’t a big deal.

Mental Health has always been sort of a taboo topic.
Like typical Americans, we shove it away and cover it up so people don’t think we are “crazy.”

We don’t want those labels, we don’t want people to feel sorry for us.
We don’t want to reach out for help or talk about how we are feeling because it is not a pretty topic.

Thankfully, in the past few years many people have been breaking the silence and talking about their mental health.

We’ve seen celebrities speak up about it.
We’ve seen more of our peers talk about it.
We’ve seen a pandemic hit our world and those that never even considered the fact that they had any issues with their mental health…. find that they do.

If you have followed me for awhile or know me personally, you know that I am very open and honest about my struggles with my own mental health.

I struggle with severe anxiety with a splash of depression.
It’s something I have dealt with my entire life, but never really had a name for it until the last few years.

I thought what I was feeling was normal and everyone went through the same thing. I just needed to toughen up and deal with it.

My thoughts didn’t make sense.
Why was I anxious for nothing?
Why was I feeling sad when my life is pretty great?
Why would I lay in bed night after night unable to sleep because I couldn’t turn off my brain?
Why sometimes couldn’t I sit still…I would feel shaky and couldn’t concentrate?
I know God always has my back and has never failed me, but why did I continue to feel these feelings when I was still faithful?

I thought these were all normal things that we all go through.

I can’t tell you the moment I realized I had anxiety. I can’t tell you where I was when it finally “clicked” that this wasn’t a normal feeling.

It wasn’t until about 3 years ago that I went on medicine and finally admitted to my doctor what I was feeling.

Everyone around me always seemed so happy and easy going. No one ever seemed to feel what I was feeling, maybe the stuffed it inside and that was the proper way to deal?

I didn’t know.
No one ever talked about it.

Then, you see…one of my favorite actors took his own life.
A man that was known for his infectious humor and personality.

Robin Williams.
I could be wrong, but I think his suicide shook our world in a way that woke us up a little.

How could a man who was known across the world, SO hilarious and seemed like he LOVED life… take his own and just “give up?”

Because depression doesn’t discriminate.
You don’t wake up one day and say “I think I’m gonna be depressed today.”

That’s not how mental health works, and if you are one of those people that think you can just “get over it.”

I hope no one you ever love really struggle with a mental illness and have to deal with your ignorant ass self.

I’ve dealt with my anxiety my whole life and honestly, a big part of mine is social anxiety.

Going anywhere new or with people I don’t know, gives me anxiety.
Going anywhere alone gives me severe anxiety.
Walking into a restaurant alone to meet people, gives me anxiety.
The thought of going to eat alone or even going to the movies alone, would give me anxiety and I would never do it.
Uncertainties in life… give me severe anxiety.
Sometimes I just wake up and am anxious for no reason.
Walking into the gym, gives me anxiety.

The list goes on…

The other big piece of dealing with any mental illness, is being around people that just don’t understand it.
Which is FINE, not everyone understands or experiences these things and that’s 100% OKAY.

But, shaming people for feeling this way or simply telling them “you are overreacting,” “just get over it.”
Has got to STOP.

It’s not something people can just get over. We are very aware when we are overreacting, but you can’t always control it.
Honestly, the majority of the time I can’t control it.
I can sit there and tell myself it’s not a big deal and try to calm myself down… but 9/10 it doesn’t work.

When COVID finally hit America and we began our shut down, I think a lot of people became very self-aware.
Lots of alone time doesn’t allow you to keep shoving those feelings away and avoid dealing with them.

We entered an era with many unknowns, which caused people to experience some of these anxieties or depression that they haven’t had before. It’s scary, right?

But, it doesn’t make you less of a human being.
It doesn’t mean that you are stupid for feeling that way.
What you feel is a normal reaction to the state we are currently living in, and I hope these experiences help open your eyes to what some of us deal with on a daily basis despite a pandemic going on.

For those of us that suffer from some sort of mental illness, we beat ourselves up enough.
We know we can’t always justify what we are feeling.
We know laying in bed for a week straight isn’t an appropriate response to how we are feeling.
We have a great life, a good job…we are healthy… we know we shouldn’t be depressed.

WE KNOW.
But that doesn’t help us get through our bad days.
Being shamed doesn’t help us feel better.

“Get over it.”
“THANKS KAREN I NEVER THOUGHT ABOUT THAT. NOW EVERYTHING IS SUNSHINE AND RAINBOWS.”

Stop shaming people for talking about how they are feeling.
Stop shaming people when they are open and honest with their struggles and that they just can’t make it to your events.
Stop shaming people for disappearing for a week or two and then coming back in.

Instead, check in with them.
Ask if they’re okay.
Not everyone is open about their struggles with mental health.
[Actually, most people keep it hidden away.]

My goal over the last 3 years have been to:
A. Recognize my anxiety/depression.
B. Seek therapy to find out where it stems from and how to deal with it in healthy ways.
C. Advocate for those that struggle with their own mental health.
D. Be open and vulnerable about my own struggles.

I know there are people on my social media that see my posts and don’t get it.
Or, they think I share my struggles for “attention” or whatever it may be.

I’d love it for the trash to take itself out, but I hope those people stick around and maybe something will eventually click for them.

In the past 3 years that I have been open and honest about my own struggles, the amount of people that have messaged me, called me…just reached out to me.. is incredible.

It continues to motivate me to share and give people a chance to talk to someone else who really gets it. To let them know they aren’t alone.

To help guide them on where to go to begin the healing process and get the help they need to truly understand what they are feeling and how to deal with it.

I’m not a mental health expert by any means, I’m just a girl who truly gets it. And in the middle of a chaotic world right now, we need more people to get it and support each other.

I’m not really sure what my initial goal of this blog was, but I just had it on my heart this morning to share.

You are not crazy.
You are allowed to feel what you feel.
You are not stupid.
You are not alone.

It’s okay to not be okay.
It’s okay to not know why you feel that way.
It’s okay to say “no” to people.

The most important part is to take care of yourself.
Reach out to a doctor, talk to someone..I promise you are not alone.

Find a therapist, I strongly recommend this one.
It can take a few times to find a therapist that you click with, but I promise you therapy has changed my life and really helped me deal with my anxieties and my own issues.

As always, my inbox is always open.

XoXo