One of my goals for this new year, was to take a break from dating.


2017-2018 was a whirlwind of emotions for me when it came to romantic relationships. Starting therapy with my amazing therapist, has really opened my eyes to the trends I have in dating and men. Plus, growing up with a narcissistic father, who I recently have removed from my life, it’s been a struggle but I have learned a lot. It hasn’t been an easy process, but I never thought it would be.

I talked to my therapist back in October/November about taking a hiatus from dating, and she thought it was a good idea.
Yet, I didn’t start it right away. I took some time to think about it, and of course dated a couple people after. Which just proved to me, how much I needed a hiatus.

Dating in today’s society is a joke anyways.
 No matter if you are a female or male, it’s a struggle. 
People play games, people aren’t fully available 
or haven’t dealt with their baggage/past.. it’s not very enjoyable.(If you want some funny stories, check my old blog out 
“Single Sassy and Twenty Something… for some entertaining dating stories.)

Fast forward to middle of December, I talked to my friend Mandy about this promise to God to take a break from romantic relationships, I needed time to focus on me and what my plans were for my future. I’ve been on the fence about what I want to do, where I saw myself in the next five years. I’ve been really at a “transitioning” point in my life.
So, I decided starting January 1st, I would begin my time of “dating Jesus,” and focusing on myself and my future.

It is now January 21st, I have held steady to that promise. A couple exes have come back, who I dismissed very quickly, because another promise I made was no more people from the past.

Exes ALWAYS come back, ya feel me ladies? They always do at least once, and I truly believe it’s a test from God to see if we are still stupid or have learned anything.
(They are in the past for a reason. And I strongly believe if God wants something for you, He will make it clear. And vice versa, if you are not meant for each other, He will also make that clear.)

I met another guy out one night, he was very cute. We texted for a couple days and then I decided he wasn’t worth ruining this pact I made with God. I was only a couple weeks into the new year, I needed more time to allow God to prepare my heart.

I’m not sure how long I am going to do this break from dating. I originally said 6 months.. and then said until Easter. I don’t think I want to set a timeline on it, I’ll know when I am ready. I have some big goals for this first part of the year, so I want to put my full focus and energy into them.

God has been tugging at my heart since March of 2016 to write a book. I started writing a little that month, I pulled up those pages a month or so ago. 22 days after I started writing, I met B and the roller coaster of life began. I find that so ironic, God is funny like that sometimes.

I read the pages I wrote, I could see where my heart was at that time, and from that moment until last month… so much has changed. God has continued to push me and remind me that He laid this on my heart, and I need to stop ignoring him and obey.
I have devoted time each week to sit quietly, pray and let Him guide my words with this book. Guide my heart in this whole process, because Lord… I have no idea what I’m doing. I’ve always been a writer but it’s never gone further than a blog or my personal journal.

Back to my hiatus of dating.
I know God will know the exact moment my heart is ready, I strongly believe He will let me know when it’s time. Which patient has always been a struggle, I’m a control freak and need to know what the future holds. It’s been a learning process to get comfortable in His waiting room and giving Him my full trust.

The end of 2018 really showed me a lot of things, which also allowed me to let a lot of things go. My eyes were open to many toxic relationships and realizing some people were only meant to be in my life for a season. That season as ended and I needed to move on so I could grow.

Recently, and pretty difficult (my last blog talks more about it) was letting one of my (what I thought was) strongest friendships go. I realized the toxicity seeping into my life, it was causing me stress and anxiety and a friendship should never bring those things.

So, here I sit. 21 days into this new year and have never felt more content.
I am happy and excited for what the rest of this year holds.

A year devoted specifically to myself, which I have attempted before but never succeeded in. However, looking back I was never in a good mind space to appropriately devote that time to myself.
This year is different, I will no longer allow things that don’t bring me peace in my life. I know the signs now to recognize that something is toxic and bad for me, and I refuse to accept it.
I refuse to be treated less than I deserve, and you should too.

No matter if that “thing” is a romantic relationship, friendship, family member, work related… whatever it is, you deserve more.

The best decision I ever made, was to put myself first.
My happiness, my goals and my journey with God before anything else in life.

Try it, I promise you won’t be disappointed.

XoXo